What Don’t You Want?

From the moment we are old enough to hold a conversation, we are asked what we want to be:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?

“What will you do with your life?”

“What are your goals?”

While there’s nothing wrong with these questions, what about what we don’t want? We are sent on a narrow path focused on becoming or doing something different and better than we are today. Rarely, if ever, do we ask, pose, or receive the questions:

“What would you not like to be?

“Who do you not admire?”

“What do you want to avoid in your life?”

With the COVID 19 pandemic and the world’s subsequent time staying at home, what many of us DIDN’T want came to light. Many people realized they didn’t want to do that long commute ever again, the importance of spending more time with family and friends, and even who they did not want in their lives. We became more introspective and mental wellness came to the forefront of discussion in a way it never has in the past. This was a good thing.

Discovering what we don’t want in life is just as important as what we do want. Unfortunately, many of us don’t have the awareness to discover this until we are much older, making change a bit more challenging. If we spent more time at a younger age pushing ourselves to feel what makes us uncomfortable, what puts us in pain or anguish, we could have much more fulfilling adult lives.

Managers and leaders, help your employees discover what they don’t want just as much as you’re asking what they do want. This sheds light on the issue from a different angle and can provide you both with clarity that can make for a longer, more fulfilling work relationship.

Parents, let your kids face adversity and feel uncomfortable. It’s just as important - maybe more important - as discovering what they enjoy. It also teaches them resiliency.